It's two days since Kaira passed away. The flat seems so empty without her; or any other dog for that matter. I keep expecting her to come up to me for a fuss, or follow Simon around for something to eat.
Will we get another dog? Yes, I think so. It depends on how Simon feels about it. After all, he has to deal with feeding, exercising, etc. Only time will tell.
Here's a revised copy of an article that I wrote a few weeks ago...
Losing a Dog
I lost my loving lively Spanish Jack Russell Terrier, Kaira, not long ago. I was devastated, and to some extent, I still am. However, I wondered how others deal with the loss of such a companion. I decided to research the emotional and practical sides of losing a dog. Here, I write about my findings, in the hope that they will help you deal with your sorrow.
Everyone deals with grief differently. There is no right nor wrong way. It’s important to realise that feeling sad, shocked, sorrowful, and lonely is normal and natural. These reactions show that you’re grieving for a much-loved friend who meant a lot to you. Also, seeking support from those around you is crucial in helping you come to terms with your loss.
Grief isn’t something that you just ‘get over’ as some may suggest while others may suggest that ‘it’s only a dog’ and even if they don’t say it may be thinking that you’ll ‘get over it’. If only it was that simple.
Talking to others who have lost their dog(s) may prove useful. How did they deal with the feelings of grief? You may experience ‘waves’ of emotions, some even good when you recall the good times together. The death of a dog brings about sentiments and sensations that may be difficult to process. These feelings can take weeks, even months and you must be kind to yourself during these times. Expressing these ‘moods’ through tears, rites, rituals, and other personal acts is part of the grieving process. Allowing yourself to ‘work through’ these processes may be difficult but essential. Don’t suppress or ignore them.
Reminiscences and recollections of your dog will help keep them alive in your heart. Remembering the small but significant events is important and there are small steps you can take to ease your pain. And there are some practicalities that you may wish to consider. You may like to look through old photographs, write a tribute or testimonial, or write a letter describing your time together. Remember, your feelings are valid. Give yourself space to express your grief.
As you grieve, you may question your beliefs about your dog and the hereafter. This can be difficult. Those around you may have different views about the afterlife, but you need to find the answers that resonate with you alone. But your bond with your dog was unique and meaningful, and your feelings are valid.
Practical Possibilities.
On a down-to-earth note, there are many heartfelt ways to honour the memory of your dog. A framed paw print is a thoughtful way to remember your dog. Wooden or ceramic plaques can be placed at your dog’s final resting place, or a memorial stone serves as a lasting tribute. You could make a memory box or photograph album and store cherished photographs which is a comforting way to reflect your dog’s life. Planting a ‘memorial garden’ to honour them is a peaceful place to remember your dog. Commissioning artwork or jewellery is a creative way to keep your dog’s memory close. Some choose to honour their dog by having a tattoo, creating a permanent, personal tribute. Marking your dog’s birthday or the anniversary of their passing with a small celebration can help keep their memory alive. Donating to animal shelters or charities in your dog’s name is a wonderful way to honour them. Finally, holding a funeral with readings, music, flowers, and a memorial marker can be a touching farewell.
Cremation
• Individual Cremation: Your dog is cremated alone, and their ashes are returned to you in an urn or casket. The ashes can also be sealed behind a framed photograph or illustration.
• Communal Cremation: This is the choice I made for my little Lottie. Your dog is cremated with other animals, and the ashes are scattered in a communal ‘Garden of Remembrance’.
• If you prefer, you can keep your dog’s ashes or scatter them in a meaningful place.
• Some crematoriums offer the option to attend the cremation, providing a sense of closure.
• For individual cremations, you’ll receive a document that details your dog’s cremation, providing a sense of closure.
Burial
• You can bury your dog as they are or use a coffin. Biodegradable materials like cardboard, willow, or wood are good options. Wooden coffins offer more protection.
• You can mark the grave with a painted stone, cross, or tree to create a lasting memorial.
• You can place sentimental items, like their collar, favourite toy(s), or a letter with them.
• Green Burials in a Dog Cemetery. Your dog is wrapped in a natural covering and buried in a memorial shrub bed, marked with a growing shrub to symbolise the eco-friendly nature of the burial.
The above options allow you to remember your dog in a way that feels most meaningful for you, your family, and your friends. In the end, there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ choice between cremation or burial. Both have their advantages, and the decision depends on what feels most meaningful to you.
